What is a money date?
Surprisingly, it’s not taking your credit card out on the town or sitting in a movie theatre with your debit card beside you.
A money date is a focused conversation with your partner with a romantic twist to it.
Hear me out… discussing money with anyone tends to bend more toward the stressful side. It’s not uncommon for many partners to avoid speaking about their finances with each other completely, if only to avoid a fight. This is where the problem lies.
Relying on one person in a relationship to be solely responsible for your financial situation is unfair and stressful on that individual. No matter what they say, it’s a big responsibility and relationships are about sharing your life with each other, isn’t it? Even the financials! Don’t get me wrong, if one person likes having the responsibility and doesn’t mind that pressure then that’s fine but discussions must be had about your finances. This is your money too and your livelihood depends on it, you owe it to yourself to get involved.
So, this is the reason for creating a “money date”.
It’s a set time and place to discuss your financial situation, your goals, and dreams and to strategize, to brainstorm, and stay on the same page. It’s important to know your partner’s goals and dreams in order to support them. That’s what you're in this for right? Is to live you best life with someone? Loving and respecting someone means helping them live their best life, too.
Depending on what is going on with your money will decide how often you set up your money date. It can also be scheduled impromptu when something comes up. But the key here is to MAKE IT FUN! Make it romantic. Get dressed up, go out for dinner with your spreadsheets and make it an occasion. Or simply light a candle at home and pull out some wine and get talking.
I’m not joking when I say pull out the spreadsheets… this is the chance for you and your partner to go over what is going on. Regroup. Discuss your spending or brainstorm some goals. Allow this to be the time to ask each other questions and come up with a plan. This will help you stay connected and on the same page about your financial life. There should be no shame around money in a loving relationship and I can’t stress it enough, the reason you are together is to help each other live your best lives. So don't avoid something that will allow you both to have that!
Money date tips:
1. Get dressed up or stay in your pajamas, that’s completely up to you but make it an official date.
2. Turn off and put away all distractions.
3. Come to your money date with questions.
4. Discuss what you would like to bring to the table for your next money date.
5. Make it fun! Grab that special beverage and treat, sit outside for a picnic or just have breakfast in bed.
6. Come relaxed for the conversation but have a goal. What would you like to achieve by the end of this money date? Is it a strategy about how to pay off some debt or how to come up with some more money? You can even discuss how your investments are doing?
Questions to bring to your money date:
1. How do you think we are doing?
2. What do you think we could change?
3. How can I be more helpful?
4. What should our short term/long term goals be?
When your money date is done, it’s done. Don’t bring your money conversation to the dinner table every night because that won’t be fun or healthy for your relationship. Keep the feeling of money management simple and easy in your relationship. Keep an open heart and just watch how you thrive together.
Single? Of course, you can have a money date…. Read this post