Important Questions to Ask Yourself (and Your Partner) Before Making a Will
Important Questions to Ask Yourself (and Your Partner) Before Making a Will
Learn the Key Questions That Help You Make Confident Decisions About Your Finances, Protect Your Loved Ones, and Ensure Your Wishes Are Honored
Let’s be honest—thinking about making a will isn’t exactly at the top of anyone’s “fun things to do” list. It’s emotional, a little overwhelming, and frankly, easy to put off. But here’s the thing: having a will is one of the most important gifts you can give to the people you love. It’s about peace of mind—for you and for them.
Making a will ensures that your wishes are honored, your assets are distributed the way you want, and your loved ones aren’t left guessing during an already difficult time. It’s not just about who gets what—it’s about making decisions now that will protect your family, your finances, and your legacy.
So, if you’ve been procrastinating, this is your sign to finally tackle it.
Whether you're single, married, have kids, pets, or just a few special possessions you care about—this guide will walk you through the key questions to consider before making a will.
Grab a notebook (or open your favorite notes app), and let’s get started.
Why Making a Will Matters
Before diving into the questions, let’s talk about why having a will is essential.
Protect Your Loved Ones: A will ensures your family is taken care of according to your wishes.
Avoid Family Conflicts: Clearly outlining your intentions helps prevent disputes or confusion.
Decide Who Gets What: You control how your assets—big or small—are distributed.
Appoint Guardians: If you have children or pets, you get to decide who will care for them.
Peace of Mind: Knowing everything is documented reduces stress for you and your family.
Key Questions to Ask Yourself (and Your Partner) Before Making a Will
1. What Do You Feel a Will Can Help You With?
Start by reflecting on what having a will means to you.
Is it about protecting your family? Ensuring your assets are handled properly? Leaving a legacy?
Understanding your motivation can help clarify your priorities as you move forward.
2. If You Have Children, Who Will Become Their Guardians?
This is one of the toughest decisions, but also the most critical.
Who shares your values and parenting style?
Is this person financially and emotionally prepared to take on the role?
Consider naming a backup guardian just in case your first choice can’t fulfill the role.
(Tip: You can also outline specific wishes for your children’s upbringing in a separate document, signed by both you and your partner.)
3. Who Would You Like Your Estate or Assets to Go To?
Decide how you’d like your assets—money, property, investments, personal items—to be distributed.
Do you want everything to go to your partner?
Should it be divided between your children?
Are there specific gifts you’d like to leave to friends or other family members?
4. Who Are Your Immediate Beneficiaries?
These are the people (or organizations) who will inherit your assets.
Consider:
Spouse or partner
Children or grandchildren
Siblings, parents, nieces, nephews
Charities or causes you care about
5. If Your Beneficiaries Are Children, At What Age Would You Like Them to Collect Their Inheritance?
You might not want an 18-year-old to inherit a large sum of money.
Decide if you’d prefer to set an age limit—like 25 or 30—or if you’d like the inheritance distributed in stages.
6. If You Have Pets, Who Will Become Their Guardians?
Don’t forget about your furry family members.
Who would be willing and able to care for your pets?
Would you like to leave money (a pet trust) to cover their expenses?
7. Do You Intend on Leaving a Pet Trust to the Guardian? If So, How Much?
A pet trust ensures that your pet’s future caregiver has the financial resources needed for food, vet care, and other essentials.
8. Are There Specific Items You’d Like to Gift to Any Particular Person?
Think about sentimental items like:
Family heirlooms
Jewelry
Artwork
Collections (coins, books, etc.)
Clearly specifying who gets what helps avoid potential conflicts.
9. Would You Like to Make a Donation to a Charity?
Leaving a charitable bequest is a powerful way to support causes you’re passionate about.
Consider whether you'd like to:
Donate a specific amount
Leave a percentage of your estate
Gift specific assets (like property or stocks)
Read: How to Donate Money and Things: Make a Meaningful Impact with Your Contributions - Discover Smart Ways to Donate Money and Items, Support Causes You Care About, and Maximize the Value of Your Giving
Getting Into the Details: The Next Set of Questions
10. Who Will Be the Executor of Your Will?
An executor is responsible for carrying out the instructions in your will.
Choose someone trustworthy, organized, and capable of handling legal and financial matters.
Consider whether they’re emotionally prepared to take on this role after your passing.
11. Who Would Be a Secondary Executor?
It’s wise to name a backup executor in case your primary choice is unable or unwilling to serve.
12. What Type of Ceremony Would You Wish for Yourself?
Would you prefer:
A traditional funeral?
A celebration of life ceremony?
Something simple and private?
Including your preferences can ease the burden on your loved ones.
13. Would You Like to Be Buried, Cremated, or Consider Another Alternative?
Document your wishes to prevent any uncertainty or disagreements among family members.
14. Who Will Be Given Power of Attorney?
This person will handle legal and financial matters on your behalf if you’re unable to do so.
Choose someone you trust implicitly.
Consider having both a financial and a healthcare power of attorney.
15. Who Do You Choose to Be Your Healthcare Agent?
This person will make medical decisions for you if you’re incapacitated.
Make sure they’re clear on your values and wishes regarding medical care.
16. What Is Your Medical Plan Preference?
Think about:
Life-prolonging treatments
Do Not Resuscitate (DNR) orders
Organ donation preferences
Discuss these wishes with your healthcare agent to ensure they’re honored.
17. Who Will You Want to Have Access to Your Social Media, and What Would You Like Them to Do with It?
In today’s digital world, this is an important consideration.
Decide:
Should your accounts be memorialized or deleted?
Who will manage them?
18. Who Will Have All Your Passwords to Online Accounts?
From banking apps to streaming services, you likely have dozens of online accounts.
Consider using a password manager and granting access to your executor.
Make sure someone knows how to access this information when needed.
Why These Questions Matter
Taking the time to answer these questions might feel overwhelming, but they are the foundation of a strong, effective will.
You’re making decisions now that will protect your loved ones later.
You’re giving your family clarity and peace of mind during an emotional time.
And most importantly—you’re ensuring your wishes are honored, your way.
How to Approach This With Your Partner
If you’re partnered, these aren’t decisions to make in isolation.
Schedule a “money date” to discuss your wills. Read: What Is a Money Date? The Fun, Simple Habit That Can Transform Your Finances and Strengthen Your Relationship - Discover How Regular Money Dates Can Reduce Financial Stress, Improve Communication, and Help You Achieve Your Money Goals Together
Approach the conversation with openness, honesty, and zero judgment.
If it feels heavy, break it into smaller conversations over time.
Remember, it’s okay if you don’t have all the answers right away. The goal is to start the conversation.
When Should You Update Your Will?
A will isn’t a “set it and forget it” document.
Review and update your will:
After major life events (marriage, divorce, birth of a child, buying property)
Every couple of years, even if nothing has changed
When there are changes in laws or tax regulations that might affect your estate
Final Thoughts: Don’t Put It Off—Your Peace of Mind Is Worth It
Making a will isn’t about expecting the worst—it’s about planning for the people you love most.
It’s a final act of kindness, clarity, and responsibility.
So, set a date.
Have the conversations.
Write it down.
And most importantly—just get it done.
You’ll feel lighter, more in control, and proud that you’ve taken this important step for your family’s future.
💛
Ready to create your will? What’s been holding you back? Share your thoughts or questions in the comments below—I’d love to hear from you!
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Disclaimer:
This content is for informational purposes only and not legal, financial, or tax advice. Consult a qualified professional for advice specific to your situation. The Financial Confidence Coach is not liable for actions taken based on this information.